Luxury maximum in Russian: who Russians consider to be the ideal man
Russians are increasingly choosing partners not based on the thickness of their wallet, but on their state of mind. Surveys show that morality, caring, emotional stability, and the ability to be a reliable ally come first, not just status and income level. Why the image of a real man has changed so much and what contradictions this leads to is in the Izvestia article.
What qualities in men are a priority for Russian women
A VTSIOM study conducted in 2024 captures a turning point in public perceptions of which male qualities are most valued. Women themselves most often name moral qualities — reliability, honesty, loyalty, responsibility and decency. In total, this block of responses is gaining 63% and confidently takes the first place. Masculinity and strength are already in the background, and caring for others is in the third.
In another study by the center, from 2025, it turned out that for many women, appearance and status fade into the background compared to the basic sense of human decency. This confirms the trend: the image of the "ideal" is shifting towards moral and psychological stability, rather than external effectiveness.
A separate dimension is everyday life. A survey by the dating service Mamba showed that 78% of women consider cleanliness to be the basic criterion when choosing a partner. For many respondents, a pleasant smell, well-groomed appearance and neatness turn out to be as important as a career or property status. At the same time, the availability of real estate or a car remains a significant factor, but not the only and not the absolute priority.
If we consider the idea of an ideal family, the picture is complemented. VTSIOM notes that for the majority of Russians, an ideal family is primarily about mutual understanding, caring for each other and harmony, and not just high wealth. Residents of the country call love and emotional intimacy the most important condition for starting a family, and their own housing and income act as supporting, but not dominant factors.
All this adds up to a consistent trend: the demand for psychological security, predictability and emotional partnership is increasing in the mass consciousness. A man, from the point of view of many women, turns out to be "ideal" not because he earns the most, but because he is calm, understandable and reliable.
Why the ideal man stopped being just a "breadwinner"
According to clinical psychologist Ksenia Savelyeva, the ongoing change in ratings of the qualities of an ideal man is not just a fashion change, but the result of a "quiet revolution" in the relationship between men and women.
— A woman today is an independent, economically independent person, who has also ceased to be perceived as a "function" (keeper of the hearth, mother, hostess). She realizes herself in her career, creativity, and social life and is looking for a partner not to fulfill traditional roles, but to create a fulfilling life together as two whole people," the expert explained.
The very look at a man has changed. He ceases to be just a function of a breadwinner and protector and becomes an equal ally. The value of a man for many women today is measured not so much by material resources as by human qualities.: the ability to hear, engage in dialogue, share responsibility for everyday life, parenting, and the emotional climate in the home. The selection criteria shift from the question "what will he give me?" to the question "what will it be like for me to be with him every day?".
Money versus feelings: the conflict of expectations and reality
However, survey data and actual choice strategies do not always match. Matchmaker Anna Osipova draws attention to the strong gap between the declared values and practice. According to her, a significant part of Russians under the age of 35 have unrealistic expectations: they are guided by the image of a very successful, wealthy and high-status man, often with a clearly defined "threshold" of income.
She notes that the trend towards financial demands is still strong: women often do not consider candidates with incomes below a certain amount, while they themselves are not always ready to invest a comparable level of effort and responsibility in a relationship.
— Women improve themselves, engage in self-development, but at the same time, their skills leave much to be desired in everyday life. They cannot and do not want to do something useful for the common hearth for free," the expert noted.
According to Anna Osipova, a caring and kind man as a key value comes to the fore for about a fifth of Russian women who dream of marriage. For the rest, material well-being and status still turn out to be the most important filter. The expert also attributes this to a demographic bias, since according to statistics, there are about 13 million more women in Russia than men. The current situation was also influenced by the fact that many women have become financially strong, so they are not ready to lower the bar of requests.
Psychologist Rodion Chepalov adds an important methodological detail: survey data on "ideal qualities of men" strongly depend on the formulation of questions and socially approved answers. Real but taboo criteria — physical attractiveness, sexual compatibility, social status — are being overshadowed. As a result, the portrait of the ideal man in the questionnaires reflects not so much the living experience of women as the cultural expectations and values that are commonly demonstrated in public.
The expert draws attention to the fact that a woman can declare "kindness" and "responsibility" in words, but in real life she shows increased interest in men with pronounced activity, dominance and high social energy.
Emotional maturity and the "perfect gamer"
A separate line in modern ideas about the ideal man is the growing value of emotional stability and flexibility. In conditions of prolonged stress, information overload and constant uncertainty, men who do not break down at the first pressure, know how to regulate their emotions and support their partner, and do not take out their irritation on their loved ones, become especially attractive.
Ksenia Savelieva emphasizes that emotional intelligence is becoming a new "superpower." According to her, the ability to gently smooth out a conflict, hug, joke, and respond to a partner's feelings in time is valued higher today than an expensive gift or status gesture. For many women, this is a direct path to the most stable psychological atmosphere, which they consider more important than external and material attributes.
Against this background, unexpected stories appear, for example, a trend towards gaming partners. Psychologists note that men who play moderate games often demonstrate high stress tolerance and the ability to adapt quickly to changing conditions. Modern team games teach players to analyze difficult situations, act in conditions of uncertainty, work as a team and not give up after failures. These skills are also in demand in relationships.: A partner who knows how to switch, listen, and negotiate in a virtual environment often translates these strategies into real life.
Rodion Chepalov draws attention to the fact that in such stories it is not the fact of gaming itself that is important, but the set of qualities associated with it. The ability to withstand emotional stress, distribute attention, maintain self-control and not "break down" under stress becomes socially valuable.
— In an era of high uncertainty, the value of emotional maturity, reliability and predictability is growing — those qualities that reduce stress in a relationship, — the psychologist emphasizes.
The ideal man today: who is he
Taken together, polls and expert opinions paint a complex and ambiguous portrait. On the one hand, the demand for morality, emotional partnership, the ability for dialogue and shared responsibility is strengthened. On the other hand, there remains a strong emphasis on financial stability, status and attractiveness, especially in practical demands in the marriage market.
Ksenia Savelyeva believes that, in general, women's expectations have become healthier and more realistic: more and more men are actively involved in household chores, taking parental leave, turning to psychologists and learning to openly talk about their feelings. There are more couples who are building relationships as a partnership, where it is not a given gender role that is important, but personal contribution and willingness to take responsibility.
Matchmaker Anna Osipova, on the contrary, warns about the risk of high expectations: the tougher the image of the ideal man, the higher the probability of disappointment. No one is obligated to live up to someone else's ideal, and trying to find someone who is simultaneously super-successful, morally impeccable, emotionally mature, and fully compliant with all the items on the list is almost inevitably doomed to failure.
Instead, experts suggest shifting the focus from the abstract "what should it be like" to the more practical question "what am I willing to put into a relationship myself and what feelings do I have next to this person?"
Rodion Chepalov emphasizes that the conventionally ideal man is primarily a reflection of cultural anxieties and hopes. Society is tired of instability and conflict and is looking for a figure who will provide psychological support. Hence the focus on predictability, resilience, and the ability to take responsibility and not destroy the overall reality with outbursts of aggression. Against this background, the image of a stern macho man gives way to the image of a reliable friend.
As a result, the portrait of an ideal man in Russia today is not only a set of characteristics, but also an indicator of how ideas about family, partnership and happiness are changing. More and more often, women do not want a hero without fear and weaknesses, but a lively, emotionally engaged person with whom they can share not only success, but also doubts, fatigue and the search for new life solutions.
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